What do you do when someone betrays your trust? What does it take for them to regain that trust? At what point do you find forgiveness? Is it worse if a friend betrays you, or a lover? What if the person is one in the same....someone with whom you had been really close friends, but then it became more? Is delibrately withholding information the same thing as lying? (In my opinion, yes, it is.) Should saving the friendship and regaining the trust be a top priority? (For both parties, but particularly to the one who committed the betrayal.) Why does the potential loss of a friend hurt so much worse than the loss of a lover, even when the person is one in the same? What expectations are realistic, in terms of what the person should do to save the friendship and regain the trust?
I'm a very forgiving person...perhaps overly so. And, I can't just write people out of my life, even if I should. But, being hurt by a friend....for reasons of miscommunication, lack of communication, withholding of information...by someone who you believed would always be honest with you and would never want to hurt you, is a very hard pill to swallow. How do you reconcile the anger over someone not being honest with you, with the feeling of the loss....the loss of a friendship that meant a lot.
Forgivness is actually less of a problem...I can find forgiveness. I already have, to a large degree. But, what needs to be done to save the friendship? And, what happens if the efforts aren't made? Not only has then, a betrayal occured, but perhaps the friendship didn't mean that much...and, how do you deal with that realization?
It's easy to say that at the end of the day, everything will be fine. Necessary efforts will be made, or they won't. The friendship will be saved, or it won't. And, long-term, yes, that is all true. But, it doesn't change the feelings of loss, anger, confusion, et al, that exist in the here and now.
